ponderings

one day adam, cyndra, and i were talking about the people we hang out with. we had all made the observation that the people we've been around lately are bitches in the sense that they're afraid to try new things, are easily swayed, and still live with their parents.

then we talked about the guys adam grew up with and are closer to his age group and discovered that what the new generation lacks is glaringly present in the previous generation that adam is included in.

then i realized something. at the age of 19, i'm in the same generation as these newer guys that are too afraid to do anything with their lives or are just too lazy.

even though i'm in this group, i act more like the older generation, but i'm too young to be fully accepted into the older guys' group.

so now i wonder, is it possible to have sub-generations? can one generation produce various groups. could there be a sub-generation that occurred at the same time but was overshadowed by the baby boomers? for my peace of mind i certainly hope so. i would hate to be grouped into these people that still live with their parents, don't go to school, are high school dropouts, and spend all day as fucked up as humanly possible because they have nothing better to do with their lives. these are the people that will never go anywhere with life, and i'm in the same generation as them?

i'm not trying to be a braggart, but at least i've gone a little somewhere with my life, and i have friends that have done the same. so what makes us different?

i think what bothers me the most is that all these kids have a happily married mom and dad, live in suburbia, and have a close knit group of friends; yet they were exposed to more then i was. they saw and were involved in fights that bordered deadly, they know their pills better than a rite aid pharmacy, essentially, these guys have had way more life experiences than i have and yet they chose to do nothing with themselves. i would have loved to be exposed to more of the outside world than i was, but maybe they just don't appreciate the experiences and wild stories that they have.

i left the conversation feeling very alone and stranded, torn between the way i act and my age. while i take risks, try new things, and have explored the world a bit, i'm so young that i don't really fit in. oh well, at least adam and cyndra don't think i'm a bitch :)

...

i'm all moved down to turlock, but i don't have the internet yet and we don't have tv, so i feel really cut off from the rest of the world and worse yet my family and friends. blah to the max. i think i need a night out on the town...

moving on

a few months after getting an apartment with adam, we've moved to turlock and live with his cousin danny and girlfriend cyndra.

my thirty days notice wasn't too hard to give, don saw us moving and asked adam what was going on. adam told him and don even offered to pro-rate the rent if we get out earlier than the end of this month.

the first couple of days have actually been really good. maybe it's better that we're living with danny and cyndra, because now we have a volatile relationship (they get into arguments a lot) to look at and avoid being like.

of course we left over half the kitchen stuff here in jamestown and have no washer or dryer and only a mini fridge, but we're working on that...

what does sorta suck is that our bedroom is on the second story and the stairs are way too steep and adam can only stand straight up in the middle, so we can't even put a normal bed in there, we'll have to get two twin mattresses and put them together.

but oh well, i really like the house and hope it all works out.