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Striking differences since when I first started planning this wedding. Since then, I have moved into an apartment with my love Kris. We attempted to let my father live with us, lasting a whole two weeks. His drug use was out of control and the final straw was his vomiting all over my floor and then laughing about it. My main issue was that I had to parent my father. I was the one talking to him about being irresponsible. So now he's gone, and I'm still trying to salvage what I can out of our dismal relationship. On top of it all, my aunt is no longer talking to me either.
This matters because Kris and I have decided to scrap all pretty little wedding plans, and to go to Reno and get married there. Originally, we were going to go to my aunt's ranch house and help her clean her property up and then go elope towards the end of our stay.
Now, I have decided not to tell my father or any of his side of the family about the wedding. We are booking a small little Reno chapel and have invited Kris' mom, my mom, and three other people. There will still be something old (my patent leather heels), something new (a dress), something borrowed, (my grandmother's pearls), and something blue (my hair).
So it is out with the old family, in with my new family. I received a thoughtful piece of advice from my mom. She reminded me that I'm starting a new family now, and all of my energy needs to be devoted to that.
Everything else has delightfully gone out the window. I am rather excited to be able to do things my way now. I had started to feel stifled at the idea of such a traditional affair when I am anything but. My sadness comes from the fact that my father's side of the family will not know, or be a part of.
After spending hours crying over this I realized, thanks to my little voice in the back of my head, that I was okay with this. I have come to realize that I am starting my own life, with my own family. If the Norris side of my family has decided to be petty and play these little games, then I obviously do not need them in my life. I still have my mom and all of her family, and now I am taking on Kris' family. Yes, I have plenty of family and they all love and support me.
Even though I hate the word "spiritually", I feel like this is the appropriate place to use it. So I have spiritually cleansed myself of the drama and pettiness and I am ready to move on to a more peaceful place in my life.
After numerous discussions that ranged from serious, to jokingly, to scary, Kris and I have talked about our future plans. We've talked about marriage, kids, whether or not we'll be good parents, how we can be good parents with two opposing schedules, and anything else we could think of. Despite my liberal views on pretty much everything else in the world, I have very conservative views on raising a family. Maybe it's because I saw my parent's marriage falter numerous times in the years and finally fail, or maybe it's because of all my friends getting pregnant and then having baby daddy/mommy issues that I decided a long time ago that when I get married, I will not divorce. Thankfully Kris feels the same. So we both talked and last week we decided that we would have an early summer wedding on our anniversary (June 6th) and set the year for 2013, giving me plenty of planning time.
So far I have a vision of how I want this thing to look. The color scheme is black and white. It's simple, elegant, and a little bit will go a long way with this color scheme. Also, since the black and white theme edges on a minimalist feel, if my budget doesn't allow for it, I won't need too many extras. So far so good, color theme picked (yay!)
For the venue, I'm looking at many local areas for the ceremony and reception, there are surprisingly a lot of places in Tuolumne County for this thing. The budget is going to be small, but thankfully there are plenty of places that aren't as expensive as I was imagining. We picked Tuolumne County because it just seemed natural. I'm going to be doing most, if not all, of the planning, so I will need to drive around like a chicken without a head until the day of. That's just how I am, I trust no one else to do these things for me. Of the family that's going to be invited to the wedding, my mom is going to have to travel far no matter what, she lives in Kauai. I have no idea where my dad will be when this all gets started, but he knows Tuolumne County very well, so he has NO EXCUSE for being late :) Kris' mom and grandma will have to either drive up from Taft (5 hours) or take the train and have us pick them up. Either way, they'll need help no matter where we have the wedding. So it only makes sense, that in an effort to save my sanity, the locale we choose will be close at hand, so I can go and bug people every other day until I get what I want.
No one has told me how freaking scary it is looking for a venue. I read one bad review and i'm scared that this is what my wedding will end up being. And try as I might, when i get pissed off I can flip out. And i already know that if my day gets messed up by the venue people,I will end up with murder attempted murder charges. The stressing has started already, and I can feel my old friend Mr. Wilkins (the name I gave my ulcer, might as well, he's been around for a while...) popping up. This is going to be a major hurdle I'll have to go over. I'm think that the next time Kris and I have some days off together, we can plan on driving around looking at the venues and getting more information from them.
In compiling the guest chart, I realize that many of the people we want to invite have, gasp, kids! I trust that my niece and nephew will behave, as will half of Tiffany's kids. Her oldest will be a problem, but it's really Kris' niece I'm most concerned about. I know that he'll want her to go to the wedding, and I would love for her to be able to go. But the child doesn't has no manners and lacks any form of discipline. When she doesn't get what she wants, she throws a hissy fit. Today I will have to talk to Kris about letting Kiaha come. I figure she gets one chance to behave during the wedding and reception, and if this 7 year old girl can't handle that, then she can be taken home. I won't put up with her acting like a brat. I hate to do that, but I refuse to have my wedding ruined by a little girl who said that she didn't get enough toys for Christmas. She seriously said that.I also have to contend with the fact that in my guest list, a lot of people don't like my dad. And unfortunately that includes me sometimes. So instead of having a set seating chart where everyone will be miserable, i'm just letting people have at and sit wherever the hell they want.
Then it hits me, who the hell am I going to have give me away? I'm sure that no one will object if I just have my dad give me away, it only makes sense. But like I said, sometimes I don't like my dad. I would be honored more so if my step dad, or even my little brother gave me away. How horrible is that feeling? That because my dad feels that everything should be about him, I don't want to include him in the ceremony. Ugh. (why hello Mr. Wilkins, glad you could join me...)
For the reception, I'd like to be able to offer an open bar, which will be pricey and difficult to pull off, but it's something that I would like to offer people. In regards to food, I guess I have to wait until i get a chance to go and talk to possible venues about their catering services. But ideally, it would be a buffet style luncheon with mostly pupus and some light finger food followed by a dessert buffet. The wedding cake is always a subject of concern it seems, but I am thinking that since this is looking to be a small ceremony, if I can't find a cake i like, I will just bake it myself. Good thing I'm great at pastry cooking!
I'm starting to pull strings together to make this thing work, and even though it may look like I'm all over the place (because I am), and even though it might seem like i've bit off too much (every bride has), I know this is going to come together.
Full blown wedding and baby fever have hit me.
At least I'm prompted to find new employment thanks to the infernal ticking of my biological clock...
After I was broken up with, via a rather awkward telephone conversation, I decided that marriage and kids suck and that I would have nothing to do with it.
When I started seeing Kris, I was glad to find someone who felt the same as I did in regards to the whole marriage/kids conglomeration. But after a few months together, and numerous babysitting excursions (first time I saw an uncircumcised winkus was on a two year old boy while Kris sat so red faced he couldn't even talk), somehow we both thought to ourselves that we might have found someone to start a family with. So after a rather weighty conversation, the both of us decided that we wanted to get married and have a family together.
Now I've got weddings on the brain and along with homes with fenced yards and babies pulling on puppy dog ears. No idea how to take this shift of thought process. I think that for now, I'll keep my secret wedding planning and just go with the flow...
A few months ago, I was given the chance to get my CNA certificate. It entitled that I leave my comfort zone of Ceres, move back up the the place I always hated, and leave the man I though I was in love with for 7 weeks. At the end of a very interesting, smelly, and studious 7 weeks, I became a CNA, but I lost Adam over a phone call.
Looking back now, I realize that we never really did work out too well for each other. I was always fighting, it seemed, to redeem the relationship we had. Whatever rationalizations I make now, they do nothing to help me heal from the hurt that I suffered.
I never wanted kids. When I was younger, when Adam proposed to me, and even almost six years into our relationship, I never wanted kids. I had finally reached the point where I thought that maybe this guy would be a great dad, and that maybe we could have kids after we got married.
But then 7 weeks later it all came to a crashing halt. I'm still reeling from the fact that he was able to call me and tell me that we were over. I go down to Ceres still because I have 6 years of stuff that I've amassed and no place to put it. I live in a travel trailer that barely holds all my stuff, and won't hold my photo enlarger or rocking chair.
I miss the comfort of living in a nice house, of being able to watch the shows that I've grown to love, and I miss more than anything the ability to use a kitchen to create gorgeous meals. But the depression sets in when I realize that neither of us were really happy, and that I'm really only missing things, not missing Adam so much.
What scared me more than anything was meeting Kris. We work together, like Adam and I did when we first met. My fear was that I was going after some rebound, that I just wanted to feel those carnal human sexual instincts that I hadn't felt in over three months.
But it grew into something more. Now I'm head over heels for this guy, and he is for me. I realize this is the honeymoon period for us, but I'm still excited nonetheless for what I have. I moved back to the one place I never wanted to live again, and now I'm warming up to the idea of kids.
It's as if the last 6 years of my life were a mulligan, like they don't count and I can start over, feeling fresh and un-jaded over the prospect of love. It's a wonderful feeling. Thankfully, the last 6 years have taught me a lot. I will never again remain the silent partner, my happiness is just as important as his now. I'm not going to make excuses for people anymore, and I'm not going to be the only one busting ass to make everything work.
These are obvious to anyone, even myself, but once you put the gauze over your eyes, it all becomes hazy while you live in a world of self created denial.
It feels good to be alive right now. I'm looking forward to the future and what it brings.
i'm ready to do some extreme downsizing and move out of state.
if only i could get my car to pass smog....
i'm so tired of trying to help people better themselves, and then to have those people sit and do nothing...
i have spent more money than i want to think about on things i didn't even want to in order to try and help this person better himself.
i try everyday to think of how i can help him, and i try to do it, because i know that deep down, he's as good person that just wants to succeed.
apparently it's deeper down than i thought...he only puts forth the minimal amount of effort needed for me to think "oh, hey, he's trying" and i won't nag at him because he is trying, right? but then he goes slaps me in the face by not even trying past an initial enthusiasm...
i feel stupid for not realizing it sooner. i think i'm done helping this person until i see some kind of effort on his part, which could be a while...
end rant...
This is just my opinion, and only my opinion, but from what I have read recently and over the past two years, it seems as though this is a common opinion, even among the locals that were born and raised on Kauai....
I think the title says it all. But I'd like to say it a couple more times...
Think back to the stereotypical police officer: a little slow, takes everything the wrong way, pretends he's bad ass with a baton and radio, eating donuts and crappy coffee, not wanting to do any actual work, and takes every little word as a racist remark. I'd like to introduce you to the Kauai Police Department.
Never have I been around a more incompetent group of people.
I just pray that no one gets anything stolen in Kauai, because the cops will do absolutely nothing to try and help you.
THEY ARE PERHAPS THE MOST WORTHLESS GROUP OF LAW ENFORCEMENT I HAVE EVER HAD TO DEAL WITH.
I personally believe that the cops have an inferiority complex. At home they do as the wives say, and being a cop is their only chance to wear the pants and have authority. I say this because I know a cop and his wife, and I've seen the difference between when he is on duty (douche) and when he is with his wife (submissive). Albeit this can't be true for all cops, but it does explain why this particular one is such an asshole. I've never felt so much contempt for a person than I do for this so called "police officer".
I have never been satisfied with the responses given to me. I did more then the cop did to get my money back after my bank card was stolen.
So what does the KPD do with all it's time??
They do green harvests every chance they get. They spend tax payers money on chartering out helicopters, fly too low to residential housing, only to come out with a couple hundred pot plants. The cost of operating the helicopters and the time spent on the green harvest exceed the street value of the pot itself.
On top of that, since KPD started the green harvesting, teens are using ICE to get high. Having dealt with both stoners and meth heads, I can honestly say that I am more comfortable around a stoned kid than some twacked out person.
Who would feel threatened by a stoned out high schooler that just wants some munchies? What about a high schooler that's high on meth and twacking out so bad I don't know what he's going to do next? I'm not exaggerating here, I dealt with both kinds of people as a checker, and this was their consistent attitudes.
IF KPD WOULD FOCUS ON STOPPING METH USE AND METH LABS, THEN MAYBE KAUAI WOULDN'T LOOK LIKE A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY.
Honestly, if Kauai weren't part of the US, I would consider it a third world country. It would be PC to say "developing country", but I don't see any positive development there, just a vicious, downward spiral.
I do blame the use of meth on the KPD, because if they really cared about the people, they would focus on taking out the meth labs.
I just had to do a little ranting, as I read a story about more tourists getting their stuff stolen and mroe stupid cops doing nothing to help them. I think what pissed me off the most is that it was their honeymoon, and now Kauai is forever ruined in these people's eyes.
My sincere apologies to these people for having to experience Kauai and KPD this way I hope they take their vacations elsewhere, just not Rio....
i read this morning about how people want obama to cut taxes and stop spending. but i don't think that these people really understand why we have taxes.
people want the government state, local, or otherwise to take care of the road maintenance, keep schools from falling apart, and to operate things like public transportation. but when the taxes people so that they can take care of these things, all of a sudden they're spending too much and taxing too much.
i have lived on kauai for two years now, and the roads are a lot like jamestown road with potholes deep enough to permanently screw up your car. people that live in hawaii pay more for car repairs related to shitty roads more than any other state. when the stimulus money came out to kauai the first thing they did was fix the road, and they haven't stopped fixing it (there's really only one road here). without taxes, they wouldn't have been able to fix it.
when i was in elementary school, our rooms were so crappy that a lot of us would get sick during winter time from all the mold. and i went to one of the better kept schools in tuolumne county. in all of my school years, i can only remember once getting new textbooks. taxes are supposed to take care of thing slike that, keeping school buildings up to code and getting new textbooks so we don't have a generation of idiots that think they know everything. unfortunately that failed for my hometown, and for many more.
i would rather get taxed a little more, and know that the government has money for education and roads, than to get less taxes out of my paycheck and wonder what's going to get cut next. the less taxes they take out of your paycheck, the more likely you are to have to pay taxes instead of getting a refund.
i currently live at the poverty level. i can barely pay rent and i'm on foodstamps, without which i would not be eating. because of this, sometimes i can't afford toothpaste, so i have to brush my teeth with water. without taxes, i couldn't be on food stamps. without that, i wouldn't be eating.
people don't realize that welfare, medicare, food stamps, all those things that people are having to use now because of the economy are government funded. WITHOUT TAXES, PEOPLE WOULD NOT BE GETTING THESE LIFE SAVING BENEFITS.
that being said, i don't agree with our tax dollars being spent on special elections that are for no real purpose (eyes "herr gröpenfuhrer"). i also think that spending tax payer money to fund anything that doesn't directly help the people is crap. and yes, i believe that obama has the best of intentions at hand, and isn't trying to overthrow the government from inside.
in the long run, i think we need to hold the senators, governors, and mayors more responsible for spending money. it's easy to jab at the president because he's so far away and at the top of the chain, but it's the people that have control over your taxes that are fucking up.
governors flying off to fuck a prostitute half-way around the world, senators more worried about making lobbyists happy and working on the next election campaign as opposed to fulfilling their duty, those are the people we should be yelling at, demanding answers.
supposedly north korea was going to send missles in the direction of hawaii that could possible reach the islands.
i've been thinking, look what happened to the last country to attack hawaii....we've done it once, and i'm sure that history can and will repeat itself, hopefully just not in this case...
sooo.....it's the 4th of july, north korea shot off its missles.....and the short, angry little korean man that was never loved enough as a child didn't seem to concern anyone i met tooday at either of my jobs. i actually forgot all about it until i got home from a 13.5 hour day. makes you kinda realize that even though things like missles being shot into your general direction, sometimes you just have to keep living.
when adam and i came to kauai, i was looking forward to going to the beach every once in a while, having some fun, and enjoying this extremely beautiful island.
well, now as it is, i have three jobs and adam has two, i get one day off a week which i spend cleaning and getting ready for the next week full of fifteen hour days. this is not an exaggeration, i work at least three fifteen hour days a week. the others are mostly twelve to thirteen hour days. but that's not even the problem.
racism has always been an issue on this island. the locals tend to drop out of school early on and get pregnant. everyone is well fed because they rely on foodstamps and welfare, and wic to provide for them. ironically, most of the locals on these programs hate the US, and want to be a sovereign nation.
i say let them. i've lived on this island for almost two years now, and let me tell you what i've seen thus far: lazy people that don't even try to make their lives better, government programs with so much red tape you want to scream, and hate. pure hate towards anyone that's not local.
by local, i don't mean someone who lives here. in kauai, local means you have a sub-par education, skip school, speak pidgin (the islander form of ebonics) so bad that no one can understand you, and you hate everyone else.
i'm just so tired of all the hate that this island has. i love living here. i love the beauty i get to see eveyday and i love the ocean.
but for all it's beauty, i'm starting to hate kauai. i really am. i'm tired of the local people being such assholes. if they want to be their own nation, let them. let them try and fend for themselves, because they rely so heavily on teh government assistance, they couldn't.
it's not everyone that's like this. but there's enough of them to ruin it for everyone.
as soon as we can we will be moving back to california. i just want everyone to know, i'm leaving kauai because of the few racist assholes that have made my life hell. so....screw kauai. don't come here unless you have enough money to avoid the bitter, angry locals that don't try to better their lives.
i'm just so sad that it came down to this....
i do believe that this is the first year i haven't said "valentine's day sucks." why? mostly because i was way too tired to think about anything more than the numerous produce codes floating around in my brain (courtesy of safeway produce)
but also because i found these really cute snoopy candies for $.99, and my childhood nostalgia came flooding back. when i was a little girl, my mom would give us one of those little card-board snoopy chocolate boxes for valentine's day. so when i saw them i decided to share with adam some of my more fond memories.
and then he went and got me flowers and dark chocolate, thus making this the first valentine's we've actually celebrated in a traditional way.
I think the smell of the roses is getting to me, and i'm not sure that i mind it.
...not really, it's a banner ad for my step-dad's real estate company, Kauai Sunshine Properties. I'm also proud to say that i figured out the HTML code all by myself, yay me!
over the past couple of months, i've realized some things here on this tiny rock of mine....
first, that guy that looks like the possible antichrist isn't incoherent at all, and is actually pretty smart. he's still scary though...
i've come to a happy medium where i can clean my room, cook food, and work two jobs. now i'd like to get some schooling in there somewhere and i'll be perfect.
the possibility of moving back to california or even to holland looks more possible now.
i'm not sure if i entirely like unions, at least i'm not fond of the one i'm in. they take my money, want me to pay a fee to get into it, they're raising the amount of money they take from me every month, and they do nothing for my wages or job security. what a load of shit.
the cost of living in hawaii is roughly 35-40% higher than the mainland, so why is it the minimum wage in the state of hawaii is $7.25? and while the minimum wage in california is $8.00, the cost of living in hawaii surpasses california?? i don't know who decided to keep the minimum wage this low, but whoever did is an idiot.
wisdom teeth suck, and no matter how much local anesthesia they use, you still feel them pulling it out.
i think it's funny and sad that bush pardoned people that had endangered federally protected wildlife and a whole slew of people that defrauded banks and the government. who a man pardons says a lot about his character.
As i was pulling in carts as a cheap rent-a-mule at my new place of employment (i now possess two jobs, yay me...) i decided that it had been too long since i've attempted to stretch my creative muscles. i'm not even sure if i have any in me.
so as a test i thought it would be fun to write a whole bunch of little stories based very loosely on my life, with extreme exaggerations. in addition to this, i plan on randomly posting them on the island wherever i find an announcement board that people actually use. after i figure out a pseudonym, i'll be on my way to finding out if i have the ability to write anything worthwhile...
i plan on keeping track of my writing quest on here, and hopefully i can pump out at least two stories before tapping my mental capacity dry.
Adam and I have finally moved out of my mom's house, and now we rent a room with two other guys about five blocks down the road. Excitement...not really, but at least we're kind sorta on our own.
Discovered that in order to rent a one bedroom apartment, we'll have to shell out around $1300 a month. And those are the cheap ones. Disillusionment with jobs and living arrangements on this island have hit force, starting with my mom saying she'll need to charge me and Adam $900 a month for a bedroom we can barely move in. In her defense though, we would have gotten some free food and utilities paid for, but we just can't afford it.
I terribly miss California and all the fun that encompasses it. At least back home, if people tried to act all tough, they were put in check. Here, the locals (ie people that are of Hawaiian ancestry) act like they're hotter than color changing rubber duckies, and I've yet to find anything hotter than that. I have no problem pissing off the locals, saying stuff like, "Drop him off in LA, see if he still walks like a gangsta" or one of my favs "My people were getting the shaft before yours were even discovered." When they get really bitchy though, I remind the locals that they got an official apology from the President, my ancestors got promises and treaties that were promptly broken as soon as possible.
Unfortunately for Adam, there aren't a lot of people that like him, mostly due to his whiteness and his outgoing behavior, so he feels like he has to walk on eggshells at times, and that sucks. But we both love that we live in a virtual rain forest and the beaches are magnificent, so maybe there's hope for us here yet...
for the first time in my life, i got drunk before 11 am. while it was a lot of fun walking around and doing drunk things so early in the morning, i was bummed when i fell asleep and woke up with a hang over at 4 in the afternoon.
the other day while hiking with my mom, we found a pair of huge metal balls on the beach, rusted over and covered in dents. i decided to climb down and hug one of the monstrous ben wah balls while my mom took a photo on her cell. the trek back to the trail resulted in walking through grass taller than me (which doesn't take much..) and my losing a flip flop (the subsequent screaming of "shoe down, shoe down" makes us laugh to this day.
for those that know i don't drive, i have gotten my permit at the ripe age of 20, and all i have to do is learn to parallel park (a driving test requirement in hawaii) and i'll be all set to get my license.
found out the my inability to lose weight is because my thyroid hates me and is severely under active, so now i take pills for it and have started losing weight again.
there is a 311 concert in august in waikiki, and i'm oh so tempted to shell out the money i don't really have to go...we'll see what happens...
i've been vaugely contemplating working for the man as a tso at lihue. personal morals remain the same.
i was reading shendy's blog, and she made a good point abo music. one day in sonora's starbucks, i saw a janis joplin cd, and commented on the irony of a corporation selling music by some of the most un-corporate people in the world. i'm sure janis would love to sip on a starbucks drink as she asks jesus for a mercedes benz... but then again, this was the same starbucks where more than one employee was unaware of what chess was. possibly it is sonora's fault, but the fact that they work at starbucks made it all the more worse.
but then again, there are several occasions where my boss and fellow employees have misspelled many a word, so maybe the world is just getting dumber. i yearn for school without the pidgin speak that makes it impossible to communicate with locals. more so i yearn for a school that actually offers classes, maybe in some other lifetime.
our computer is now fixed, graphics card, internet and all!!
plus, i now have health insurance! so i can blog while in the er, among other things.
that's about it. nothing else...work, sleep, work, sleep......kinda lame, considering i've been to the beach about five times since i've been here....oh well....
we finally moved to kauai. nothing else has really been happening. adam and i both have jobs working for the same company. it's nice to have lunch with adam and yet i still don't have to see him every hour at work since we work in different stores. our boss was also nice enough to give us the same schedule, so mom and mike don't have too much driving around to do until we get our own car.
life is pretty relaxed and chill so far, i just hope it can stay that way.
we're moving again, but this time to a much nicer, warmer, laid back place: kauai.
i liked turlock when we first moved here, and then around october i started not feeling very safe. with the constant parties thrown by adam's cousin(who doesn't tell me anything about them), more and more people would show up, so more and more problems would arise. cops have come by twice, nothing happened either time.
me and adam have both gotten to stressed and high strung that we take each other's tone the wrong way and we get into little spats for no reason at all.
we've had over $800 of stuff stolen from me and adam alone (including $100 in cash). danny has had stuff stolen too.
i've had shot glasses broken, one from london and spain(my mom got me those when she as in europe), and one shot glass that had the empirical chemical of alcohol as well as a diagram of the atoms etched into it. some stupid "mystery skank" stepped on it and broke it.
there is a growing trend of no respect for the house, and i feel as though danny has no respect for me. it's gotten to the point that i'm uncomfortable being around most of the people that come here, so i pretty much stay upstairs until i go to work, and then go upstairs when i get home. plus danny has not tried to get a job (all day i watch him play games and go on myspace and sleep), so i've had to carry the burden of the bills, which is not easy and has pissed me off a lot.
so finally we decided to leave turlock and move to hawaii. i'm selling as much of my stuff as i can, putting the stuff i want in storage until i can get it shipped over, and hopefully we'll be out of here by the 1st.
i think this will be good for us, and i'm excited to move again, because this time it will be different. more like when we first moved into the apartment, only a couple more thousand miles away.
my other regret is that i won't be able to see my family as much as i'd like, which means i'll miss a good chunk of my little man growing up. but hopefully, we can make enough money so that i can visit at least once a year.
i just can't wait to leave this city, i honestly hope i never move back to turlock. too much violence, too many stupid punk ass kids that apparently were never taught manners from their parents, too many reinforced stereotypes.
ahh...the stereotypical new years blog. how fun.
we had a new years party, hopefully the last major party (if not, there will be talking...). at about 12:35, me and adam went upstairs and crashed out by 1, it was nice. i was one of the only people that didn't have a hangover at work. now i know what it feels like to be the cheery one while everyone else hates life.
someone threw up all around my back door area, and now when i go upstairs to bed, i smell puke. last time i checked, the smell had wafted upstairs to our bedroom. niiicee...hopefully the person that isn't paying rent and agreed to clean the house is actually doing what he said he would do and cleaned it up. i will not be happy if i come home and still smell puke.
i missed my family a lot, and have come up for a couple of days of visiting them. so far so good.
christmas was quiet. everyone was gone except for me and adam, so we spent two days with just us, and it was freaking awesome. if only people would visit family more.
no resolutions. i think they're pointless. why wait until the new year to change when you need to before hand?
i'm wonderfully happy, though certain people refuse to see it as that. but really, they're joyless people anyways that are so focused on money they don't know how to be happy.
but enough ranting, i'm tired and full from eating so much homemade food, it's bedtime.
i hate watching really skinny people work out. i have to keep resisting the urge to grab them and snap them like a twig. i also have to resist bitch slapping them when they weigh themselves.
i hate the sound guys make when they think they're being all hard core with their workout by adding too much weight and by grunting like a bear in heat.
i also hate assyrians that stare at me while i'm on my hands and knees scrubbing tile grout while they gawk in their shirtless, yet carpeted backs.
though on the bright side, it was assumed that i was something other than mexican. unfortunately everyone thinks the race i was mistaken for is even dirtier than mexicans. awesome. is it because i clean a gym? i'm seriously considering tatooing my ethnicites on my forehead. "excuse me ma'am, but what's your race?" "oh, just read my forehead. here, i'll stand still for a couple of seconds..." assholes.
i will finally have a cell phone tomorrow, but what i'm most excited about is the change in my schedule that will give me saturdays off, meaning i can finally have fun friday nights (as opposed to going in at 6 in the morning).
note of observation: more guys using the tanning beds/hex more than chicks.
second note of observation: people smile at me when i'm behind the front desk, not when i clean.
and thus ended another day at work.
this year was my first thanksgiving on my own, and almost everything went wrong.
while shopping for dinner the day before the feast, adam and i got into an argument because i was a touch over stressed. we didn't get half the stuff i needed, and i had to go to work that day, so we went to raley's as soon as possible. i had fifteen minutes to finish my shopping before i had to run to in-shape to start work. even after two shopping trips, we still forgot stuff.
so i go to work and come home to find that all of our friends that came home for the holiday were at our house. while i really didn't mind, i wasn't able to get an early start on the dinner, so we put the turkey back in the freezer and visited our friends.
all night i was waking up dreaming about a turkey that was left out over night and went bad, and then about not cooking it all the way through. after the third or fourth time i woke up in a panic (by sitting upright and gasping), adam got up and took the turkey out of the freezer and made me get up so i could start cooking.
since we still didn't have a couple of things i really needed, we took our friend's truck and went to the closest store. but because i lost my atm card, i had to write a check. then, i'm told that since my check is not local (i still have my old jamestown ones), and since the banks are closed so they can't verify the funds (because it's thanksgiving morning), so i had to leave and go to another store.
when i get home i start cooking up a storm, and somewhere in the mix adam asked if he could help. i had him cut some celery, but he didn't know what to cut off and how tiny to cut it, so we both got frustrated and he stormed off to play a game. all the while i went to a room, crawled into the closet, and cried for five minutes, afterwards i stopped talking to him for a while.
it takes over two hours for the turkey to get mostly defrosted and about ten minutes looking for the neck they put up its butt. i can honestly say that sticking my hand up a frozen turkey's ass while fishing around for a neck sucks.
finally, with everything done and ready to come out, adam starts to pull out the turkey. adam picked out a 24 pound turkey mostly because it was only 89 cents a pound at costco. since it's so big, and since the biggest turkey roasting pan was still too small for it, we had issues taking it out. while the pan started to give away, small hole formed on the bottom. turkey juices came pouring out and hit the hot oven, creating a small, quickly extinguished fire.
all the food was laid out on the beer pong table and surprisingly, everything came out awesome. i think what makes me most happy is that everything went wrong, just like you would imagine your first thanksgiving to be.
