that glove never fit right

i'm slighty inebriated as the intellects say. i am drunkoff my ass as everyone else will call it.

i'm suddenly hit by a muse. writing has always been my outlet. so here goes.

the child is born. he breathes. am i the vitamin that people seek? whatever helps the swallowing of the truth that you hate and try so hard to avoid. in reality, you question your relationship. in reality, i am nothing. in reality, you use me. or so i think. but is it truth?

who knows what truth is in today's society? i have decided that there is no truth in such a society. lies are bombarding us every day. the news, the internet, even music can lie to you. i refuse to believe anythign i hear, or read.

i just got disconnected from my WoW server.


that makes me feel as though i am disconected from the whole world.

maybe it's the drunkeness thatr makeds me say this.

i have found that i am more likely to sing when in this state of mind.

on happiness....

i just read a friend's blog about how she'd rather be poor and motivated than visa versa, and that just made my day.

i had recently been contemplating if i want to go back to school right away, or if i'd rather work and save money for travelling. but then whenever i talk about doing something that doesn't pay well to my dad, he gets all butt hurt like ,money is the only thing in the world that matters.

listening to his advice though, is difficult to do. he drives way more than he wants, is overweight, and constantly in a bad mood because he has to get up really early to drive to work and doesn't sleep a lot. he absolutely hates his job, though he won't tell you directly and he has heart problems from being so bitter (that's why i think he has them at least).

so why should i listen to him when he tells me that i should be making money and that money is what matters in life, never mind happiness? how can i listen to this walking contradiction? never mind that law is begining to bore me and that marine biology continues to interest me, or that i might not want to go to school right now and instead explore the world and life. talking to him about my future is always depressing and i end up hating myself in the end.

thankfully, new friends in turlock have started to show me how when it comes to monetary and career advice, sometimes parents are the wrong people to go to. not always, but sometimes. so i'm really glad when i hear that my friend want to be a teacher, and he's doing it because he wants to and it makes him happy, not because it makes money. when i hear my peers and friends exclaim that they would rather be happy then rolling in cash, i'm so relieved that i'm not the only one who will listen to myself rather than my checkbook.

i feel as though much of today's youth are rising above old ideals and creating a new generation of happy people, or maybe i'm just optimistic today...

i've done it

i've created a WoW account. actually adam did, btu i made a character. why? because i'm bored not doing anything and i took a semester off from school because i wanted a break and was tired of paying for an overpriced education.

i'm thinking about getting another tattoo or a peircing. either nipples or tongue, and i'm not sure what tattoo to get if i do get one.

i'm dying to get a darkroom set up, i've got to see if danny can fix an annoying leakign pipe, or maybe i can work it into the scheme of things, depending on what pipe is leaing from where.

i was told i should try out for are you smarter than a fifth grader, and i'm not quite sure how to think of that....