Living in this county has always been a slight struggle for me. Not because there's nothing to do on a friday night but go bowling and end up seeing 15 people you in the process, but because of the guys.
I've never thought of myself as overwhelmingly hot, but I am aware that I can at times carry a certain air of...sexuality. My problem is that the guys in my county are no Don Juan (a great story by the way...). In fact I've been disgusted with myself when once I had a crush on a local boy and it turned out that he was my 5th cousin...eeewww. Even though a lot of states allow second cousins to marry, that's just gross. Even though he was a cousin from a married side of my family to a married side of his, and no real blood between us, I freaked. Being my first encounter with a possible relative as a crush in 4th grade, I instantly became weary of any guy that could be remotely cute if you sorta squinted your eyes in fear that he might be related to me. Because of this deep rooted fear, I've found that the only guys I attract and am attracted to are really kinda weird.
Three guys that I've liked were into Dungeons and Dragons, which can be a downer when you want to do something, but they can't miss their game day. Though this is nothing compared to these two guys I've recently found cute at Columbia JC. These two guys, yes they're nerdy and play X-box and have conversations like "Who's the hottest Disney princess?", but I drew the line when I found out they still played with dinosaurs. These guys are at least a year older than me, and being long past the third grade, I assumed that they had abandoned playtime, at least with plastic Dollar Tree toys. But I was wrong, and when joking with my friend, found out that they actually fought about what dinosaurs to include, so as to not get any Jurassic periods in with Triassic periods, that would ruin the purpose of the game.
So I abandoned all thoughts of these two guys and focused on another. He seemed fine. Smart, funny, and decent if you squint, but you don't really need to squint too much. There was only one thing that really dishearted me. According to a reliable source, this guy had tasted his own man juices. Skippy, just great I thought. Not that I'm against people exploring their own sexuality, but it just so happened that I stumbled upon possibly the one guy that had tasted his juices and told someone about it. And was then bold enough to say that man juice tasted better than woman juice. It was here that I found out that he wasn't a virgin (I always think the best of people until otherwise informed), and I wondered what his real motives were. I just thought it was strange how he was very much so against gay people (though I suspect he would have no problem with lesbians..), and yet he says that man juices are better than woman juices? I was confused, still am as a matter of fact.
It was after this that I realized that maybe I wasn't meant to ever have anything in the way of a serious relationship, and that the only guys I seem to attract are ones that would consider borderline-freaky. Though I did have one semi-normal relationship, the guy was heavily into D&D, even once ditching me for hours at a bbq to show his friends the old D&D manuel he got. But at least Jeremy set up dates with me, nothing like this Jerk L.C. that decided to blow me off without calling me and saying he couldn't make the date he set up for another girl at Sadies (so she was still in high school while he's had 2 years at a JC) and then thinks nothing of it when he calls to apologize.
Like I said, maybe I'm not supposed to have a decent relationship, maybe I'm doomed to spend the rest of my life attracted to guys that taste their man juice and having guys that play with dinosaurs attracted to me. Sometimes makes a girl want to join a nunnery...
1 comment:
Bon travail, mon ami!
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