today i got a loan offer from some company on the east coast. too bad it wasn't exactly for me, but it was for helanpe morris, the mysterious girl who entered my life freshman year of high school. she kept getting offers for the national honor roll society, at first it was sorta cute, oh look, they really messed up my name...but as time went on, she kept getting these great offers and it started to annoy me that a fictional person could get better offers than me.
then i started wondering how she came about in this world. sometimes i fancy that she was created when someone was trying to say melanie, but they had a bad cold and it was over the phone where they went into a tunnel and had the service cut off. so my name couldn't be verified and the typist on the other end said "f it, i'm going home."
or maybe i sleep walk at night and i created helanpe morris. but then i realized that in order to get these honor roll society things, helanpe must be nerdy and preppy, not exactly the ideal alter ego for a person already geeky and with no social life when school starts up.
or maybe, just maybe, helanpe is my long lost twin that for some reason was never revealed to me, and at night my family steals her mail from my room to give to helanpe, who lives in the shadows of my room spying on me, waiting for the perfect moment to take over my life.
whatever the case, i think i'll start a helanpe morris file and keep track of her accomplishments through the offers she gets in the mail, because apparently some random company that's a part of slm corporations knows more about helanpe and her parents and how much they need a student loan and just because i'm geeky like that.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment