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This is just my opinion, and only my opinion, but from what I have read recently and over the past two years, it seems as though this is a common opinion, even among the locals that were born and raised on Kauai....
I think the title says it all. But I'd like to say it a couple more times...
Think back to the stereotypical police officer: a little slow, takes everything the wrong way, pretends he's bad ass with a baton and radio, eating donuts and crappy coffee, not wanting to do any actual work, and takes every little word as a racist remark. I'd like to introduce you to the Kauai Police Department.
Never have I been around a more incompetent group of people.
I just pray that no one gets anything stolen in Kauai, because the cops will do absolutely nothing to try and help you.
THEY ARE PERHAPS THE MOST WORTHLESS GROUP OF LAW ENFORCEMENT I HAVE EVER HAD TO DEAL WITH.
I personally believe that the cops have an inferiority complex. At home they do as the wives say, and being a cop is their only chance to wear the pants and have authority. I say this because I know a cop and his wife, and I've seen the difference between when he is on duty (douche) and when he is with his wife (submissive). Albeit this can't be true for all cops, but it does explain why this particular one is such an asshole. I've never felt so much contempt for a person than I do for this so called "police officer".
I have never been satisfied with the responses given to me. I did more then the cop did to get my money back after my bank card was stolen.
So what does the KPD do with all it's time??
They do green harvests every chance they get. They spend tax payers money on chartering out helicopters, fly too low to residential housing, only to come out with a couple hundred pot plants. The cost of operating the helicopters and the time spent on the green harvest exceed the street value of the pot itself.
On top of that, since KPD started the green harvesting, teens are using ICE to get high. Having dealt with both stoners and meth heads, I can honestly say that I am more comfortable around a stoned kid than some twacked out person.
Who would feel threatened by a stoned out high schooler that just wants some munchies? What about a high schooler that's high on meth and twacking out so bad I don't know what he's going to do next? I'm not exaggerating here, I dealt with both kinds of people as a checker, and this was their consistent attitudes.
IF KPD WOULD FOCUS ON STOPPING METH USE AND METH LABS, THEN MAYBE KAUAI WOULDN'T LOOK LIKE A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY.
Honestly, if Kauai weren't part of the US, I would consider it a third world country. It would be PC to say "developing country", but I don't see any positive development there, just a vicious, downward spiral.
I do blame the use of meth on the KPD, because if they really cared about the people, they would focus on taking out the meth labs.
I just had to do a little ranting, as I read a story about more tourists getting their stuff stolen and mroe stupid cops doing nothing to help them. I think what pissed me off the most is that it was their honeymoon, and now Kauai is forever ruined in these people's eyes.
My sincere apologies to these people for having to experience Kauai and KPD this way I hope they take their vacations elsewhere, just not Rio....
i read this morning about how people want obama to cut taxes and stop spending. but i don't think that these people really understand why we have taxes.
people want the government state, local, or otherwise to take care of the road maintenance, keep schools from falling apart, and to operate things like public transportation. but when the taxes people so that they can take care of these things, all of a sudden they're spending too much and taxing too much.
i have lived on kauai for two years now, and the roads are a lot like jamestown road with potholes deep enough to permanently screw up your car. people that live in hawaii pay more for car repairs related to shitty roads more than any other state. when the stimulus money came out to kauai the first thing they did was fix the road, and they haven't stopped fixing it (there's really only one road here). without taxes, they wouldn't have been able to fix it.
when i was in elementary school, our rooms were so crappy that a lot of us would get sick during winter time from all the mold. and i went to one of the better kept schools in tuolumne county. in all of my school years, i can only remember once getting new textbooks. taxes are supposed to take care of thing slike that, keeping school buildings up to code and getting new textbooks so we don't have a generation of idiots that think they know everything. unfortunately that failed for my hometown, and for many more.
i would rather get taxed a little more, and know that the government has money for education and roads, than to get less taxes out of my paycheck and wonder what's going to get cut next. the less taxes they take out of your paycheck, the more likely you are to have to pay taxes instead of getting a refund.
i currently live at the poverty level. i can barely pay rent and i'm on foodstamps, without which i would not be eating. because of this, sometimes i can't afford toothpaste, so i have to brush my teeth with water. without taxes, i couldn't be on food stamps. without that, i wouldn't be eating.
people don't realize that welfare, medicare, food stamps, all those things that people are having to use now because of the economy are government funded. WITHOUT TAXES, PEOPLE WOULD NOT BE GETTING THESE LIFE SAVING BENEFITS.
that being said, i don't agree with our tax dollars being spent on special elections that are for no real purpose (eyes "herr gröpenfuhrer"). i also think that spending tax payer money to fund anything that doesn't directly help the people is crap. and yes, i believe that obama has the best of intentions at hand, and isn't trying to overthrow the government from inside.
in the long run, i think we need to hold the senators, governors, and mayors more responsible for spending money. it's easy to jab at the president because he's so far away and at the top of the chain, but it's the people that have control over your taxes that are fucking up.
governors flying off to fuck a prostitute half-way around the world, senators more worried about making lobbyists happy and working on the next election campaign as opposed to fulfilling their duty, those are the people we should be yelling at, demanding answers.
supposedly north korea was going to send missles in the direction of hawaii that could possible reach the islands.
i've been thinking, look what happened to the last country to attack hawaii....we've done it once, and i'm sure that history can and will repeat itself, hopefully just not in this case...
sooo.....it's the 4th of july, north korea shot off its missles.....and the short, angry little korean man that was never loved enough as a child didn't seem to concern anyone i met tooday at either of my jobs. i actually forgot all about it until i got home from a 13.5 hour day. makes you kinda realize that even though things like missles being shot into your general direction, sometimes you just have to keep living.
when adam and i came to kauai, i was looking forward to going to the beach every once in a while, having some fun, and enjoying this extremely beautiful island.
well, now as it is, i have three jobs and adam has two, i get one day off a week which i spend cleaning and getting ready for the next week full of fifteen hour days. this is not an exaggeration, i work at least three fifteen hour days a week. the others are mostly twelve to thirteen hour days. but that's not even the problem.
racism has always been an issue on this island. the locals tend to drop out of school early on and get pregnant. everyone is well fed because they rely on foodstamps and welfare, and wic to provide for them. ironically, most of the locals on these programs hate the US, and want to be a sovereign nation.
i say let them. i've lived on this island for almost two years now, and let me tell you what i've seen thus far: lazy people that don't even try to make their lives better, government programs with so much red tape you want to scream, and hate. pure hate towards anyone that's not local.
by local, i don't mean someone who lives here. in kauai, local means you have a sub-par education, skip school, speak pidgin (the islander form of ebonics) so bad that no one can understand you, and you hate everyone else.
i'm just so tired of all the hate that this island has. i love living here. i love the beauty i get to see eveyday and i love the ocean.
but for all it's beauty, i'm starting to hate kauai. i really am. i'm tired of the local people being such assholes. if they want to be their own nation, let them. let them try and fend for themselves, because they rely so heavily on teh government assistance, they couldn't.
it's not everyone that's like this. but there's enough of them to ruin it for everyone.
as soon as we can we will be moving back to california. i just want everyone to know, i'm leaving kauai because of the few racist assholes that have made my life hell. so....screw kauai. don't come here unless you have enough money to avoid the bitter, angry locals that don't try to better their lives.
i'm just so sad that it came down to this....
i do believe that this is the first year i haven't said "valentine's day sucks." why? mostly because i was way too tired to think about anything more than the numerous produce codes floating around in my brain (courtesy of safeway produce)
but also because i found these really cute snoopy candies for $.99, and my childhood nostalgia came flooding back. when i was a little girl, my mom would give us one of those little card-board snoopy chocolate boxes for valentine's day. so when i saw them i decided to share with adam some of my more fond memories.
and then he went and got me flowers and dark chocolate, thus making this the first valentine's we've actually celebrated in a traditional way.
I think the smell of the roses is getting to me, and i'm not sure that i mind it.
...not really, it's a banner ad for my step-dad's real estate company, Kauai Sunshine Properties. I'm also proud to say that i figured out the HTML code all by myself, yay me!
over the past couple of months, i've realized some things here on this tiny rock of mine....
first, that guy that looks like the possible antichrist isn't incoherent at all, and is actually pretty smart. he's still scary though...
i've come to a happy medium where i can clean my room, cook food, and work two jobs. now i'd like to get some schooling in there somewhere and i'll be perfect.
the possibility of moving back to california or even to holland looks more possible now.
i'm not sure if i entirely like unions, at least i'm not fond of the one i'm in. they take my money, want me to pay a fee to get into it, they're raising the amount of money they take from me every month, and they do nothing for my wages or job security. what a load of shit.
the cost of living in hawaii is roughly 35-40% higher than the mainland, so why is it the minimum wage in the state of hawaii is $7.25? and while the minimum wage in california is $8.00, the cost of living in hawaii surpasses california?? i don't know who decided to keep the minimum wage this low, but whoever did is an idiot.
wisdom teeth suck, and no matter how much local anesthesia they use, you still feel them pulling it out.
i think it's funny and sad that bush pardoned people that had endangered federally protected wildlife and a whole slew of people that defrauded banks and the government. who a man pardons says a lot about his character.
As i was pulling in carts as a cheap rent-a-mule at my new place of employment (i now possess two jobs, yay me...) i decided that it had been too long since i've attempted to stretch my creative muscles. i'm not even sure if i have any in me.
so as a test i thought it would be fun to write a whole bunch of little stories based very loosely on my life, with extreme exaggerations. in addition to this, i plan on randomly posting them on the island wherever i find an announcement board that people actually use. after i figure out a pseudonym, i'll be on my way to finding out if i have the ability to write anything worthwhile...
i plan on keeping track of my writing quest on here, and hopefully i can pump out at least two stories before tapping my mental capacity dry.
Adam and I have finally moved out of my mom's house, and now we rent a room with two other guys about five blocks down the road. Excitement...not really, but at least we're kind sorta on our own.
Discovered that in order to rent a one bedroom apartment, we'll have to shell out around $1300 a month. And those are the cheap ones. Disillusionment with jobs and living arrangements on this island have hit force, starting with my mom saying she'll need to charge me and Adam $900 a month for a bedroom we can barely move in. In her defense though, we would have gotten some free food and utilities paid for, but we just can't afford it.
I terribly miss California and all the fun that encompasses it. At least back home, if people tried to act all tough, they were put in check. Here, the locals (ie people that are of Hawaiian ancestry) act like they're hotter than color changing rubber duckies, and I've yet to find anything hotter than that. I have no problem pissing off the locals, saying stuff like, "Drop him off in LA, see if he still walks like a gangsta" or one of my favs "My people were getting the shaft before yours were even discovered." When they get really bitchy though, I remind the locals that they got an official apology from the President, my ancestors got promises and treaties that were promptly broken as soon as possible.
Unfortunately for Adam, there aren't a lot of people that like him, mostly due to his whiteness and his outgoing behavior, so he feels like he has to walk on eggshells at times, and that sucks. But we both love that we live in a virtual rain forest and the beaches are magnificent, so maybe there's hope for us here yet...
for the first time in my life, i got drunk before 11 am. while it was a lot of fun walking around and doing drunk things so early in the morning, i was bummed when i fell asleep and woke up with a hang over at 4 in the afternoon.
the other day while hiking with my mom, we found a pair of huge metal balls on the beach, rusted over and covered in dents. i decided to climb down and hug one of the monstrous ben wah balls while my mom took a photo on her cell. the trek back to the trail resulted in walking through grass taller than me (which doesn't take much..) and my losing a flip flop (the subsequent screaming of "shoe down, shoe down" makes us laugh to this day.
for those that know i don't drive, i have gotten my permit at the ripe age of 20, and all i have to do is learn to parallel park (a driving test requirement in hawaii) and i'll be all set to get my license.
found out the my inability to lose weight is because my thyroid hates me and is severely under active, so now i take pills for it and have started losing weight again.
there is a 311 concert in august in waikiki, and i'm oh so tempted to shell out the money i don't really have to go...we'll see what happens...
i've been vaugely contemplating working for the man as a tso at lihue. personal morals remain the same.
i was reading shendy's blog, and she made a good point abo music. one day in sonora's starbucks, i saw a janis joplin cd, and commented on the irony of a corporation selling music by some of the most un-corporate people in the world. i'm sure janis would love to sip on a starbucks drink as she asks jesus for a mercedes benz... but then again, this was the same starbucks where more than one employee was unaware of what chess was. possibly it is sonora's fault, but the fact that they work at starbucks made it all the more worse.
but then again, there are several occasions where my boss and fellow employees have misspelled many a word, so maybe the world is just getting dumber. i yearn for school without the pidgin speak that makes it impossible to communicate with locals. more so i yearn for a school that actually offers classes, maybe in some other lifetime.
our computer is now fixed, graphics card, internet and all!!
plus, i now have health insurance! so i can blog while in the er, among other things.
that's about it. nothing else...work, sleep, work, sleep......kinda lame, considering i've been to the beach about five times since i've been here....oh well....
we finally moved to kauai. nothing else has really been happening. adam and i both have jobs working for the same company. it's nice to have lunch with adam and yet i still don't have to see him every hour at work since we work in different stores. our boss was also nice enough to give us the same schedule, so mom and mike don't have too much driving around to do until we get our own car.
life is pretty relaxed and chill so far, i just hope it can stay that way.
we're moving again, but this time to a much nicer, warmer, laid back place: kauai.
i liked turlock when we first moved here, and then around october i started not feeling very safe. with the constant parties thrown by adam's cousin(who doesn't tell me anything about them), more and more people would show up, so more and more problems would arise. cops have come by twice, nothing happened either time.
me and adam have both gotten to stressed and high strung that we take each other's tone the wrong way and we get into little spats for no reason at all.
we've had over $800 of stuff stolen from me and adam alone (including $100 in cash). danny has had stuff stolen too.
i've had shot glasses broken, one from london and spain(my mom got me those when she as in europe), and one shot glass that had the empirical chemical of alcohol as well as a diagram of the atoms etched into it. some stupid "mystery skank" stepped on it and broke it.
there is a growing trend of no respect for the house, and i feel as though danny has no respect for me. it's gotten to the point that i'm uncomfortable being around most of the people that come here, so i pretty much stay upstairs until i go to work, and then go upstairs when i get home. plus danny has not tried to get a job (all day i watch him play games and go on myspace and sleep), so i've had to carry the burden of the bills, which is not easy and has pissed me off a lot.
so finally we decided to leave turlock and move to hawaii. i'm selling as much of my stuff as i can, putting the stuff i want in storage until i can get it shipped over, and hopefully we'll be out of here by the 1st.
i think this will be good for us, and i'm excited to move again, because this time it will be different. more like when we first moved into the apartment, only a couple more thousand miles away.
my other regret is that i won't be able to see my family as much as i'd like, which means i'll miss a good chunk of my little man growing up. but hopefully, we can make enough money so that i can visit at least once a year.
i just can't wait to leave this city, i honestly hope i never move back to turlock. too much violence, too many stupid punk ass kids that apparently were never taught manners from their parents, too many reinforced stereotypes.
ahh...the stereotypical new years blog. how fun.
we had a new years party, hopefully the last major party (if not, there will be talking...). at about 12:35, me and adam went upstairs and crashed out by 1, it was nice. i was one of the only people that didn't have a hangover at work. now i know what it feels like to be the cheery one while everyone else hates life.
someone threw up all around my back door area, and now when i go upstairs to bed, i smell puke. last time i checked, the smell had wafted upstairs to our bedroom. niiicee...hopefully the person that isn't paying rent and agreed to clean the house is actually doing what he said he would do and cleaned it up. i will not be happy if i come home and still smell puke.
i missed my family a lot, and have come up for a couple of days of visiting them. so far so good.
christmas was quiet. everyone was gone except for me and adam, so we spent two days with just us, and it was freaking awesome. if only people would visit family more.
no resolutions. i think they're pointless. why wait until the new year to change when you need to before hand?
i'm wonderfully happy, though certain people refuse to see it as that. but really, they're joyless people anyways that are so focused on money they don't know how to be happy.
but enough ranting, i'm tired and full from eating so much homemade food, it's bedtime.
i hate watching really skinny people work out. i have to keep resisting the urge to grab them and snap them like a twig. i also have to resist bitch slapping them when they weigh themselves.
i hate the sound guys make when they think they're being all hard core with their workout by adding too much weight and by grunting like a bear in heat.
i also hate assyrians that stare at me while i'm on my hands and knees scrubbing tile grout while they gawk in their shirtless, yet carpeted backs.
though on the bright side, it was assumed that i was something other than mexican. unfortunately everyone thinks the race i was mistaken for is even dirtier than mexicans. awesome. is it because i clean a gym? i'm seriously considering tatooing my ethnicites on my forehead. "excuse me ma'am, but what's your race?" "oh, just read my forehead. here, i'll stand still for a couple of seconds..." assholes.
i will finally have a cell phone tomorrow, but what i'm most excited about is the change in my schedule that will give me saturdays off, meaning i can finally have fun friday nights (as opposed to going in at 6 in the morning).
note of observation: more guys using the tanning beds/hex more than chicks.
second note of observation: people smile at me when i'm behind the front desk, not when i clean.
and thus ended another day at work.
this year was my first thanksgiving on my own, and almost everything went wrong.
while shopping for dinner the day before the feast, adam and i got into an argument because i was a touch over stressed. we didn't get half the stuff i needed, and i had to go to work that day, so we went to raley's as soon as possible. i had fifteen minutes to finish my shopping before i had to run to in-shape to start work. even after two shopping trips, we still forgot stuff.
so i go to work and come home to find that all of our friends that came home for the holiday were at our house. while i really didn't mind, i wasn't able to get an early start on the dinner, so we put the turkey back in the freezer and visited our friends.
all night i was waking up dreaming about a turkey that was left out over night and went bad, and then about not cooking it all the way through. after the third or fourth time i woke up in a panic (by sitting upright and gasping), adam got up and took the turkey out of the freezer and made me get up so i could start cooking.
since we still didn't have a couple of things i really needed, we took our friend's truck and went to the closest store. but because i lost my atm card, i had to write a check. then, i'm told that since my check is not local (i still have my old jamestown ones), and since the banks are closed so they can't verify the funds (because it's thanksgiving morning), so i had to leave and go to another store.
when i get home i start cooking up a storm, and somewhere in the mix adam asked if he could help. i had him cut some celery, but he didn't know what to cut off and how tiny to cut it, so we both got frustrated and he stormed off to play a game. all the while i went to a room, crawled into the closet, and cried for five minutes, afterwards i stopped talking to him for a while.
it takes over two hours for the turkey to get mostly defrosted and about ten minutes looking for the neck they put up its butt. i can honestly say that sticking my hand up a frozen turkey's ass while fishing around for a neck sucks.
finally, with everything done and ready to come out, adam starts to pull out the turkey. adam picked out a 24 pound turkey mostly because it was only 89 cents a pound at costco. since it's so big, and since the biggest turkey roasting pan was still too small for it, we had issues taking it out. while the pan started to give away, small hole formed on the bottom. turkey juices came pouring out and hit the hot oven, creating a small, quickly extinguished fire.
all the food was laid out on the beer pong table and surprisingly, everything came out awesome. i think what makes me most happy is that everything went wrong, just like you would imagine your first thanksgiving to be.
first of all, i'm thinking about deleting my drunken blog. i really didn't think i posted it, oh well.
i got a job at at a gym, and i can't help but feel like a corporate rat now. my last gym was all about actually being healthy and the people that worked there didn't look like they had on a pound of makeup. for example, i was in the breakroom when the mandatory hot foreign girl comes in and sits next to me. she already has a lot of makeup on, and then starts putting on more and telling me that it isn't even helping because she feels like crap and so must look like crap. i hate people like that who are hot and know they're hot, but put on makeup and talk about looking like crap to make us uglies feel better. a pox on thee!!
so even though i feel healthy because i treat my body right (except for the occasional drunken binge)and eat right, i still feel like i'm not good enough because i'm not a size zero.
my roomie situation isn't going as good as it could. bluntly it sucks ass. i can't stand this girl i live with. she's a germaphobe and doesn't want anyone to touch anything. if i close a window, she look sat me like i'm a bitch, even though all the other windows are open, it's dark outside, and the central air is on. i used to let her do whatever she wanted pretty much, and now i just want her out of the house. she fights with her boyfriend at least twice day, and each time she drives off all pissed off and comes back in an hour. at first i thought it was funny. i would think "oh look, she's all pissy again because he doesn't like it when she busts up vicodin and snorts it. what a dumb bitch." then she says that he's trying to control her when he tells her not to do that.
now i'm just annoyed because she keeps doing this crap and makes huge scenes out of nothing, and usually she's the one that screwed up, not her boyfriend. she seriously thinks this is all funny though. she jokes about it later and likes it when she leaves her guy at taco truck and makes him walk home. it really makes me want to slap her.
then she keeps using my stuff and bitches at adam for no reason. using my stuff wouldn't be an issue if she would let me use her stuff, but she doesn't and i refuse to be held at a double standard, so i took al my crap from her. plus she broke some of my stuff too, which also pisses me off. i really want he to move out, but until her boyfriend (who we also room with and is adam's cousin) breaks up with her, i can't really do a whole lot.
we've both resigned ourselves to hating each other silently (i'm sure she hates that i'm not as clean as she would like and that i usually disagree with her when she gets in her gay ass fights) which is fine by me.
so for now, the air is a little more tense when she's in the house, but everyone is quiet about it. i feel as though i'm stuck in that game clue, with everyone sitting around the fire, looking at each other, waiting for the next move so they can make their own. it sucks.
in other news, i finally saw all of the city of lost children, though i do need the engligh sub-titles. ron perlman was awesome in thi role, and i love dark french films. they're awesome. i also saw fear and loathing in las vegas for the first time and i really was unimpressed. i felt the guy was hypocritical in talking about how acid make people think they were opening themselves up when they really aren't, and then he gets all deep and philosophical, thinking that he's opened up when he really didn't (according to his own admissions).
i guess that's the end of my little rant off, i've got to get ready for work now.
i'm slighty inebriated as the intellects say. i am drunkoff my ass as everyone else will call it.
i'm suddenly hit by a muse. writing has always been my outlet. so here goes.
the child is born. he breathes. am i the vitamin that people seek? whatever helps the swallowing of the truth that you hate and try so hard to avoid. in reality, you question your relationship. in reality, i am nothing. in reality, you use me. or so i think. but is it truth?
who knows what truth is in today's society? i have decided that there is no truth in such a society. lies are bombarding us every day. the news, the internet, even music can lie to you. i refuse to believe anythign i hear, or read.
i just got disconnected from my WoW server.
that makes me feel as though i am disconected from the whole world.
maybe it's the drunkeness thatr makeds me say this.
i have found that i am more likely to sing when in this state of mind.
i just read a friend's blog about how she'd rather be poor and motivated than visa versa, and that just made my day.
i had recently been contemplating if i want to go back to school right away, or if i'd rather work and save money for travelling. but then whenever i talk about doing something that doesn't pay well to my dad, he gets all butt hurt like ,money is the only thing in the world that matters.
listening to his advice though, is difficult to do. he drives way more than he wants, is overweight, and constantly in a bad mood because he has to get up really early to drive to work and doesn't sleep a lot. he absolutely hates his job, though he won't tell you directly and he has heart problems from being so bitter (that's why i think he has them at least).
so why should i listen to him when he tells me that i should be making money and that money is what matters in life, never mind happiness? how can i listen to this walking contradiction? never mind that law is begining to bore me and that marine biology continues to interest me, or that i might not want to go to school right now and instead explore the world and life. talking to him about my future is always depressing and i end up hating myself in the end.
thankfully, new friends in turlock have started to show me how when it comes to monetary and career advice, sometimes parents are the wrong people to go to. not always, but sometimes. so i'm really glad when i hear that my friend want to be a teacher, and he's doing it because he wants to and it makes him happy, not because it makes money. when i hear my peers and friends exclaim that they would rather be happy then rolling in cash, i'm so relieved that i'm not the only one who will listen to myself rather than my checkbook.
i feel as though much of today's youth are rising above old ideals and creating a new generation of happy people, or maybe i'm just optimistic today...
i've created a WoW account. actually adam did, btu i made a character. why? because i'm bored not doing anything and i took a semester off from school because i wanted a break and was tired of paying for an overpriced education.
i'm thinking about getting another tattoo or a peircing. either nipples or tongue, and i'm not sure what tattoo to get if i do get one.
i'm dying to get a darkroom set up, i've got to see if danny can fix an annoying leakign pipe, or maybe i can work it into the scheme of things, depending on what pipe is leaing from where.
i was told i should try out for are you smarter than a fifth grader, and i'm not quite sure how to think of that....
i lost my cell phone again. this time i think inside my couch, but i'm not positively sure...
i do have internet though, which is fricking awesome after not having it for over 7 months. i did notice however, that since i haven't had internet for so long, i don't really have anything to do on it. before, i would read my stuff and play games and just randomly play around on it. now i pretty much check my email and call it good.
adam and i have decided that a trip to canada would be fun. if it happens remains to be seen, but i think it can and will.
people have given me compliments on my photos of my little man, so now i have a renewed passion for my photography. i do though, need to get ahold of the landlord to fix the pipes under the house so i can turn the sad excuse of a basement into a darkroom. excitement everywhere.
not being in school sucks, though i think i've said that before. just to make sure everyone knows, this is my first semester not in school, and it sucks. i feel like a retard for not being in class and applying myself academically. and i think it's getting on adam's nerves. i keep spouting random facts and stuff that no one really cares about and doesn't really want to hear, so i think i need an environment in which i can spout such facts, and have people ooh and aahh over them, possibly landing me a gold star for the day.
in another educational setback, i keep reconsidering what i want to major in. now i'm thinking genetics. why? because i can breed fruit flies, and i breed them good dammit.
so i'm thinking that i have to get rid of this annoying little travel bug i have before i can really think straight...but until then, i'll be in turlock, working, going to the gym, and playing oblivion on my x-box 360.
one day adam, cyndra, and i were talking about the people we hang out with. we had all made the observation that the people we've been around lately are bitches in the sense that they're afraid to try new things, are easily swayed, and still live with their parents.
then we talked about the guys adam grew up with and are closer to his age group and discovered that what the new generation lacks is glaringly present in the previous generation that adam is included in.
then i realized something. at the age of 19, i'm in the same generation as these newer guys that are too afraid to do anything with their lives or are just too lazy.
even though i'm in this group, i act more like the older generation, but i'm too young to be fully accepted into the older guys' group.
so now i wonder, is it possible to have sub-generations? can one generation produce various groups. could there be a sub-generation that occurred at the same time but was overshadowed by the baby boomers? for my peace of mind i certainly hope so. i would hate to be grouped into these people that still live with their parents, don't go to school, are high school dropouts, and spend all day as fucked up as humanly possible because they have nothing better to do with their lives. these are the people that will never go anywhere with life, and i'm in the same generation as them?
i'm not trying to be a braggart, but at least i've gone a little somewhere with my life, and i have friends that have done the same. so what makes us different?
i think what bothers me the most is that all these kids have a happily married mom and dad, live in suburbia, and have a close knit group of friends; yet they were exposed to more then i was. they saw and were involved in fights that bordered deadly, they know their pills better than a rite aid pharmacy, essentially, these guys have had way more life experiences than i have and yet they chose to do nothing with themselves. i would have loved to be exposed to more of the outside world than i was, but maybe they just don't appreciate the experiences and wild stories that they have.
i left the conversation feeling very alone and stranded, torn between the way i act and my age. while i take risks, try new things, and have explored the world a bit, i'm so young that i don't really fit in. oh well, at least adam and cyndra don't think i'm a bitch :)
i'm all moved down to turlock, but i don't have the internet yet and we don't have tv, so i feel really cut off from the rest of the world and worse yet my family and friends. blah to the max. i think i need a night out on the town...
