skip to main |
skip to sidebar
i lost my cell phone again. this time i think inside my couch, but i'm not positively sure...
i do have internet though, which is fricking awesome after not having it for over 7 months. i did notice however, that since i haven't had internet for so long, i don't really have anything to do on it. before, i would read my stuff and play games and just randomly play around on it. now i pretty much check my email and call it good.
adam and i have decided that a trip to canada would be fun. if it happens remains to be seen, but i think it can and will.
people have given me compliments on my photos of my little man, so now i have a renewed passion for my photography. i do though, need to get ahold of the landlord to fix the pipes under the house so i can turn the sad excuse of a basement into a darkroom. excitement everywhere.
not being in school sucks, though i think i've said that before. just to make sure everyone knows, this is my first semester not in school, and it sucks. i feel like a retard for not being in class and applying myself academically. and i think it's getting on adam's nerves. i keep spouting random facts and stuff that no one really cares about and doesn't really want to hear, so i think i need an environment in which i can spout such facts, and have people ooh and aahh over them, possibly landing me a gold star for the day.
in another educational setback, i keep reconsidering what i want to major in. now i'm thinking genetics. why? because i can breed fruit flies, and i breed them good dammit.
so i'm thinking that i have to get rid of this annoying little travel bug i have before i can really think straight...but until then, i'll be in turlock, working, going to the gym, and playing oblivion on my x-box 360.
one day adam, cyndra, and i were talking about the people we hang out with. we had all made the observation that the people we've been around lately are bitches in the sense that they're afraid to try new things, are easily swayed, and still live with their parents.
then we talked about the guys adam grew up with and are closer to his age group and discovered that what the new generation lacks is glaringly present in the previous generation that adam is included in.
then i realized something. at the age of 19, i'm in the same generation as these newer guys that are too afraid to do anything with their lives or are just too lazy.
even though i'm in this group, i act more like the older generation, but i'm too young to be fully accepted into the older guys' group.
so now i wonder, is it possible to have sub-generations? can one generation produce various groups. could there be a sub-generation that occurred at the same time but was overshadowed by the baby boomers? for my peace of mind i certainly hope so. i would hate to be grouped into these people that still live with their parents, don't go to school, are high school dropouts, and spend all day as fucked up as humanly possible because they have nothing better to do with their lives. these are the people that will never go anywhere with life, and i'm in the same generation as them?
i'm not trying to be a braggart, but at least i've gone a little somewhere with my life, and i have friends that have done the same. so what makes us different?
i think what bothers me the most is that all these kids have a happily married mom and dad, live in suburbia, and have a close knit group of friends; yet they were exposed to more then i was. they saw and were involved in fights that bordered deadly, they know their pills better than a rite aid pharmacy, essentially, these guys have had way more life experiences than i have and yet they chose to do nothing with themselves. i would have loved to be exposed to more of the outside world than i was, but maybe they just don't appreciate the experiences and wild stories that they have.
i left the conversation feeling very alone and stranded, torn between the way i act and my age. while i take risks, try new things, and have explored the world a bit, i'm so young that i don't really fit in. oh well, at least adam and cyndra don't think i'm a bitch :)
i'm all moved down to turlock, but i don't have the internet yet and we don't have tv, so i feel really cut off from the rest of the world and worse yet my family and friends. blah to the max. i think i need a night out on the town...
a few months after getting an apartment with adam, we've moved to turlock and live with his cousin danny and girlfriend cyndra.
my thirty days notice wasn't too hard to give, don saw us moving and asked adam what was going on. adam told him and don even offered to pro-rate the rent if we get out earlier than the end of this month.
the first couple of days have actually been really good. maybe it's better that we're living with danny and cyndra, because now we have a volatile relationship (they get into arguments a lot) to look at and avoid being like.
of course we left over half the kitchen stuff here in jamestown and have no washer or dryer and only a mini fridge, but we're working on that...
what does sorta suck is that our bedroom is on the second story and the stairs are way too steep and adam can only stand straight up in the middle, so we can't even put a normal bed in there, we'll have to get two twin mattresses and put them together.
but oh well, i really like the house and hope it all works out.
...or at least it feels like it. every week something new is screwy with me. this week it's not only allergies but stomach pains for no reason.
life sucks.
we didn't get a house in turlock because danny has no proof of income, at leaast they're giving us the application fee back. but i'm completely bummed out and people are just being stupid asses.
at least trevor watching cheese on youtube keeps me happy.
when i was a wee one, i like every other little girl in the world had an easy bake oven. now i read that kids are sticking their hands inside of it and getting hurt so it's being recalled.
WTF!!
is it the companies fault if parents can't teach their kids "honey, don't stick your hand on the oven, it will burn." in my opinion, maybe the kiddies should put their hands inside it. then they'll learn, "hey, this thing is hot. maybe i shouldn't do that anymore.."
it's parents that don't teach their kids about common sense crap that sue the hell out of companies so that they have to put on warning labels like "caution, may get hot" on an oven that make the rest of the smart people laugh and wonder what the hell is wrong with our country.
i offer an answer to the country's crisis: idiot parents who rely on school to tell their children everything, and then get mad when the kids learn something the parents don't like.
the solution: bitch slapping all stupid parents until they come to their senses, provided they had any in the first place.
but maybe i'm just irritated because i had some awesome memories of the easy bake oven, and i remember touching the outside when it was cooking and realizing that it was hot. and now people are preventing little wee children from having those awesome memories too...idiots...
these past couple of days i've felt really crappy. maybe i'm sick or maybe i'm just way too stressed out about crap that i shouldn't even be involved in.
earlier today i was wondering how it's possible for people to be so alarmed at the growing rate of obesity in this nation when we celebrate things like who can shove the most hot dogs in their face in 12 minutes.
i've become an insomniac, but since i don't have the internet or tv at my apartment, it's a very boring insomnia bought. i might go to prompt care to see about getting some sleeping pills...
though i did just watch all of girl, interrupted for the first time, i had never seen the beginning or the end, always the ice cream parlor scene. now i feel compelled to read the book. which leads me to wonder if all great writers should at some time in their lives be institutionalized, so they have some life experiences worth writing about. i'm also very curious as to the fate of lisa...
my apartment manager might lose her job because people leave bbq's outside and use them. this is a no-no to the insurance company. so now everyone is scrambling to get a new house or apartment lined up so they have somewhere to go. and i wonder if i'll get back my security deposit.
here's how i spent my 4th of july:
watching the world hot dog eating competition on espn.
one of the news commentaries made was that "everyone in the free world" was watching the american and asian guy duke shove hot dogs in their mouths.
how depressing to think that a group of people celebrate "the nation's birthday" as many call it by watching people stuff themselves sick with hot dogs made from an in determinant origin.
*slump*
in other news, i've lost my cell phone somewhere in my apartment. it strikes me funny how such a small living space can hide a cell phone so well. and since it's on silent, calling it does no good.
my friend got married today. i found out about two hours after it happened. damn, i wanted to go. oh well.
i think i might not go to uc davis and just go to hawaii instead and pursue marine biology.
it's very much so a serious thought and i have professor tune at columbia college to thank for resparking my interest in biology and christopher moore for making me wonder when the humpback whale's song is all about....
so the other day, me, adam, and matt decided to go rafting in knights ferry. we picked an area that the rafting companies take families on, thinking that we wouldn't hit the rapids that the stanislaus us famous for (i didn't learn this until after the incident..)
as it turned out, they were flushing the river so that the salmon could spawn and it was higher up and stronger than usual that day, this we also didn't learn until afterwards.
we got to some rapids that sounded too strong for out wal-mart style rafts to handle, so we pulled off to the side to get out and walk around them. just as we pull to the side, the current is too strong and carries me away in the boat.
it ends up flipping over on my head and the raft being a shitty raft, has loops for rope to go through and tie together so that the boat can be lifted out easily. but because the rope isn't long enough, i had to tie it to the boat. and because the loops weren't completely closed, the rope came out and wrapped around my neck as the ends tied to the boat were pulling me down river and choking me.
so adam and matt are hanging onto ta tree and adam lets go to get me. he pulled the rope off my neck and it took a couple seconds for me to stop choking.
then we had to have matt pull me while i pushed with my legs against a tree and adam was pushing me to get out of the water.
by the time we all got out of the water, matt lost his keys, wallet (which had a nice chunk of change), and backpack. i lost my shoes, my pants were torn, and now i have a scratch on my stomach the rivals in length to my other stomach scar. adam lost his shoes, a shirt, and our cooler. somehow through it all, adam still had his wallet and keys and one of his shirts didn't get too soaking wet.
so matt went out ahead of us and me and adam stayed behind as we had no shoes and couldn't climb over the blackberry vines as easily as matt. we also happened to land in a mosquito nesting ground and were promptly covered in the bugs. while i was wiping them off of adam, they all attacked behind my knees and my back.
we walked for about twenty minutes and found some people that were a touch drunk who drove us to the road. but she wouldn't drive us two miles more to adam's car. so we stared walking along the road and had a couple people pass us without offering help. finally this guy and his wife stop and come back with a truck and take us to adam's car. we didn't get home until after ten at night and had to call locksmiths to open up matt's truck, which didn't happen until the day.
all in all, i almost died, matt lost most of his life, and adam got a couple scratches. thinking back on it, if we had worn life jackets, matt and adam wouldn't have been able to grab onto the trees and pull me out of the water, so i'm not too tore up about not wearing them.
but yeah, that was my hellish day of rafting in knights ferry. we've all decided on a couple things 1:the next time we go rafting, don't buy them or oars from walmart 2: if there aren't rafting trips going on in knights ferry, ask why 3: don't bring your keys and wallet with you 4: don't buy rafts or any outdoor equipment from wal-mart, because it's usually crap and will most likely kill you if you follow the directions.
i have been rejected from berkeley and though i was expecting it, i'm still dummed.
now the search for a place to live is under way.
i've come to realize that there is way too many forms to fill out that ask for the same info. wouldn't the uc system save time, money, and energy if everything were on one form? i'm sure it would save frustration on the students part as well...
adam's brother matt has moved in with us for the time being and i'm still having a hard time getting used to living with two guys that eat a lot.
i have yet to hear from berkeley on the status of my application, and i have to have my intent to register in by june 1st. i hate cutting it so close...
i have discovered that i hate most of the valley and the idiots how stole my face plate to the stereo. but that's alright, because we got it back and now they know not to mess with our stuff.
i took a trip down to davis recently and found that it sucks, but i might have to go there anyways. hopefully i can find someone that isn't stuck up that i can relate to and possibly make friends with, but i doubt it.
though on the bright side, there is some tasty sushi there, just not as good as berekely...
i've discovered what it truly means to be a starving college student trying to make next months rent, and it sucks ass. i wish when parents talk to you about moving out, they would say stuff other than "i think this is the worst mistake you could ever make" ( i truly think that moving out was the smartest move possible..) and actually talk about stuff like "you have to wash dishes at least once a week or they smell bad", or "laundromats suck you dry, so make every load count." but no, they decide to tell you that you're stupid and not say why.
oh well, at least my momma in hawaii and here in california are helping me out without being bitchy and judgemental :)
i've discovered two things today.
first of all, i love cotton wood, as i'm one of the few that isn't allergic to it, i love watching it drift in the wind and have named a few wayward tuffs fluffy and tuffy when they come into the car.
second, these new computers at the college make halo muchos easier and the graphics = heaven.
the final grades are in, and i will be getting my aa degree sometime in june (whenever they decide to print them out...)but still...woot woot.
it's finals week and i've crammed and crammed, and yet i still don't remember things. slump, slump to the max.
i just feel like laying down, going to sleep, and not waking up for a week or so....
oh well, i'm just stressed and as soon as this week is over, i'll be fine again.
maybe...
my fc twin has arrived in the mail finally!!
it plays not only super nes games, but original nintendo as well!!!
as soon as school gets out in two weeks, i'm all over this thing like a hobo on a hot ham sandwich. woot woot.
the saga of the bettie page plugs has come to an end.
since i couldn't get them out myself, i had to have my dad cut them off, so now i have bettie page nubbings and infected ears.
so i got these 2gauge bettie paige earplugs from hot topic a while ago. while i love them, they happen to be flared plugs.
i decided that today i wanted to take them out and put in my black silicon barrels.
i got my left plug almost out before the pain got to be took much, and now i have a really sore left earlobe and i'm pissed.
maybe i'll go to immortal ink and make them numb it and take it out that way or maybe they can cut my plug off. either way, i don't think i'll be wearing these muchos awesome plugs anymore, and that's sad.
as a final update, me and adam are fully moved in, though we do lack certain entertainments such as Internet, but we're fighting through it...
which means we go to the college every chance we get and hop on mr. t1 line.
but anyways, things are looking good for us so far. my wonderful momma that got back from her month long hiatus in europe has sent me not 1, not 2, but 6 care packages. i'm just glad i was able to give her another reason to shop, though a shopper doesn't need a reason. and my grandma is getting stuff together to send me a package or two, so i won't be needing to shop for food for quite some time it looks like. woot woot.
onto another subject, pan's labyrinth, or el laberinto del fauno. 
i drug adam with me to see it (as he drug me the previous night to see ghost rider, where i promptly fell asleep..) a couple weeks ago. and oh my god. this has got to be one of the best movies i have ever seen. i was a touch disappointed though to learn that there was no relation between pan and the god pan.
but anyways, this movie has sparked the foreign film enthusiast in me and now i'm on a quest to watch all of the devil's backbone and as many subtitled films as possible.
this might prove difficult though, as i only have a computer to watch movies on....
this morning, i fell on my back in the student parking lot because of the ice that no one put salt on. i scraped my hand and my tattoo, i'm afraid to look at it.then the student snack bar has no food and i'm freaking hungry!!and now one of the main reasons i enjoy thrusdays is gone today. the bakery is closed fo rsome obscure reason, and i wanted chocolate chip cookies...**end rant
drum roll please.....melanie is moving out!!can i get a "woot"?the big hoopla happens this friday as me and adam move into an apartment in jamestown.my dad thinks this is a big mistake and that i'm going to get pregnant, though he refused to say those words. my step-mom thinks this is pointless and worries that i'll drop out of school. my momma on the other hand, is all for it. why? because she knows that i'm not stupid and she doesn't think that i'm going to wreck my life by moving out of my dad's house. my momma realizes that i can do this, and that me and adam will work through this stuff. she also knows that i need to spread my freaking wings and leave. so i plan on telling her after she gets back from europe on friday.we aren't getting a phone put in right away, so my cell is the house phone, but we might get one put in for dsl purposes.i'm really hoping that everything falls through alright and that we are able to move, because if we can't, someone's losing a head...
adding onto my tattoo...why? because i want to and it's better than thinking about the paper i have to write for history.i'm thinking about an om symbol. above my lotus blossom so it looks like it's just emerging out of it... that would be sweet. except it would have to be black and white since my skin is too weird for colors...
in this "post 9-11 world" (i hate that phrase with a passion!!), it seems to me that peopel over react a touch too quickly.take for instance the highly publicized ad campaign gone wrong for the aqua teen hunger force(athf from now on..)movie. theses people placed electronic signs with two popular characters from the show around boston. the mooninites are obviously giving mr birdie. 
so the question i pose to the world: how paranoid are these people?i mean the people that freaked out about electronic mooninites. yes, i accept the fact that some people don't watch athf or anythign on adult swim for that matter. that i get. but are you telling me, that in ALL the people that saw these signs up, not a SINGLE ONE OF THEM who the characters are?if that's the case, i vote that boston is exposed to athf just enough to realize that "hey, i see a sign. it has a mooninite on it. it's flipping me off. i don't think this is dangerous."but then, why didn't people think "hey, i see an electronic sign. it has a funny little person on it that's flipping me off. i've never heard of a terrorist with a humor, so why would they have one now? i don't think this is too dangerous."but maybe asking people to think before they assume that anything unfamilar is a bomb might be asking a wee bit too much...
by "we" i mean me and anyone that's ever been an ass or a complete bitch to me for whatever reason they saw fit. by "the garden" i mean madison square garden and more importantly the boxing matches that take place there. so to those that didn't take ms. nixon or that don't remember the short story we read in ap american lit, i mean that when i fight, from now on it's street rules bitches. i'm tired of putting up with shit from people and have decided that my metaphorical nut sac must now fully descend.i don't want to hear bitching about stuff like "if i don't get told something, i'm going to do whatever i want." or how about "she was really snotty and rude" being told behind my back when i and the people listening know that that isn't true.some people, mostly jews, would call this "not kosher", and they're right. i refuse to put up with this crap anymore. don't tell me how to live my lifedon't assume that i'm a loose whore just because you were when you were young. don't assume that every drug leads to a worse one, because sometimes people are content with the high they get, and one drug does not lead to another, even though it might have for you. don't assume that i'm an idiot and can't wipe my own ass, or that i can't walk from a class to the parking lot without getting raped or mugged.and don't for a second think that you know what's best for me, because you don't know me, so you can't possibly know what's best for me.in short, i'm not taking anyone's shit anymore, i don't care who you are.**end rant
